There Must Be More

Fears

School's over.  Softball's over.  T-ball's over.  The pursuit to plant a church in Yuba City continues.  It's a lot of hard work.  You question yourself.  You question God.  You question your questions.  You look to the left.  You look to the right.  What do you see?  Same thing day after day.  Seems like the only time I see something different is when I look up or when I close my eyes.

I pray for friendships I have yet to encounter.  I pray for people I have yet to meet.  I pray for those that would come alongside us.  All I see are people.

I pray for the Christian.  I pray for the unbeliever.  I pray for people seeking something more than religion.

However, there is something deep inside that I don't want to admit.  Something that I must die to and surrender to God:  What if I can't teach "the people".  What if "the people" are too much for me?  What if I'm not the right guy?  What if I fail in planting this church?

Fear...It can kill movement.  It can freeze production.  It will make you ineffective.  It causes you to focus on yourself instead of on God.  I've come to the realization that I am not "the man".  Failure to plant this church is a strong possibility. The statistics are against me.   At the same time, failure is a powerful learning tool.  What people say about me don't make me who I am (not that anyone is saying anything about me (I mean besides Satan)).  I am who I am only because of God's pruning.  (and there's a whole lot more pruning to come)

Failure...I've tasted it.  Fear...I've been cloaked in it.  Death...I have experienced it...and been made alive again in Christ.

2 Timothy 1:5-9:  I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.  For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.  For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.    So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner.  But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life--not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.

I've got to believe God has a purpose for me, my family, Yuba City, and His Kingdom, and it all comes down to His grace.

Jesse

Just As Important

Wow!  So, I’m sitting in Starbucks.  Just finished watching my Rob Bell video Bullhorn, and doing some studying on my laptop.  People are coming and going.  A few women show up and sit down with their coffee followed by a guy and girl (teens).  A short while passes and I notice that the couple has decided to sit in the same chair…couch chair.  ”No big deal,” I think as I notice this happening from my peripheral vision.  Not too long after, I begin to hear giggling…so I use my superhero peripheral vision to check out my surroundings, and I notice hands and arms moving around and about…the giggling continues, but I’m cool...I’m focused…I mean we’re in Starbucks among workers and adults drinking their coffee…what can happen?  By this time, I’m wondering if there is going to be a wrestling match…I mean feet are in the air and there’s some moves I hadn’t seen since my high school wrestling years…not that I was staring…remember per-i-pher- al vi-sion.  Finally, one of the three women gets up to use the restroom.  She comes back and the rest of the women ask if she’s ready to go and (using my bionic ear) I hear her say, “No I want to see what happens.”  I thought it a strange comment.  I assumed she was talking about the “live show”.  A few seconds later, one of the workers (the manager) comes over and begins wiping down the tables with his handy dandy washcloth.  He moseys his way slowly and non-challantly towards the couple who seems to be oblivious to his presence.  Some couples would have probably changed their posture, but not this couple…they were in “the zone”.  As the giggling and patty caking continued, the manager came up alongside them, leaned in closely, and very professionally and courteously whispered, “Excuse me, I’m going to have to ask you to sit in separate chairs or find a place outside to sit.  Your behavior is making it very uncomfortable for others.”  The couple looked a little surprised.  They slowly got up and walked out. 

Suddenly, the three women began discussing how inappropriate the couple’s behavior had been.  Turns out the woman who had “gone to the restroom” really had gone to the manager and asked if he could do something about the “couple in the corner”. 

I give the manager props for the way he handled the situation.  I was wondering how the situation would work itself out.  Should I have said something?  I think the woman made the best move.  I think that would be protocol. 

Going back to Rob Bell’s Bullhorn.  We have a tendency to pull out the bullhorn and go at it so that we can set people straight.  They’re wrong and somehow we think it’s our responsibility to make sure they know they’re wrong.  We lack understanding of scripture, relationships, and love.  We want to get something off our chest and give no thought to how we throw our weight around.  We bruise people, crush, people, and even kill people because we don’t understand that our goal when bringing correction (or you might say direction) is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith- 1 Timothy 1:5

The manager understood that the couple was just as important as the woman who raised the complaint.  He didn’t want to lose either of his customers, but he knew the couple’s actions were inappropriate for the shop.  His goal was to treat both sides with respect…show love and understanding to both sides…give correction or rather direction to the couple without abusing his authority so that ultimately he would reach his goal…show both sides that Starbucks cares.  Starbucks loves.  Starbucks will be here for you.

The women left and I began writing this blog.  About ten minutes later, who do you think walked back into the shop with some grub in their hands?  You guessed it.  The couple.  They sat in their own chair at one of the tables and honored the manager’s request.    

The outcome would have been way different had the manager pulled out the bullhorn so many reach for as their tool for abuse…I mean correction.

Wow!  What if we were to approach people with the same attitude: 

You are just as important, 

I don’t want to lose you,

I care about you,

I love you,

I will be here for you.

Maybe then, they would come back.  Maybe then, they would trust us.  Maybe then, they would see Jesus.

Jesse

Shoes

Looking around my house I find an assortment of shoes lying about.  I'm sure you can find the same in your house.  Have you ever stopped and wondered how they got there?  Have you ever stopped and wondered what the story was behind their journey?  Some shoes are placed together neatly facing away from the couch hinting someone had taken the time to make themselves comfortable.  Others are flung about haphazardly as if the person inside them was "on the move" when they were ejected from their soles.  Some you find side saddling the foot of the couch leading one to believe it was just a nice place to rest their shoes for the day as they passed by (probably distracted by a magazine, book, or television). 

Busy days...the end of our day.  We want to relax, and for a lot of us, taking our shoes off is the beginning of rest.  Taking our shoes off means that we're probably done moving about outside our house (unless you live in Southern Cal).  Often, I find I don't take my shoes off until just before I go to bed (just in case there is something I need to do).  Well, I've found out that there is always something to do, and even when I don't do it I tend to be in work mode.

While in Japan, I found that wearing one's shoes in the house is strictly prohibited.  You must take off your shoes when entering the home and walk about in your socks or slip into some slippers (that are never to be worn outside of the home (can't go out to the yard in them)).  I know this is a custom and tradition and I never really asked about the idea behind it all.  Seriously, I had to take my shoes off when I visited a couple of schools and throw on some slippers before entering their hallways!  Thinking about it now however, I see how taking your shoes off before entering the house can be a way of entering rest.

There will always be things that need to be done, but we must always remember that entering peace and rest might just start off with the simple act of taking off one's shoes.  Think about it.  Taking a load off your feet can easily lead to taking a load off the mind...getting out of work mode.  Lay your shoes aside along with the burdens of the day.  God is waiting for you..

"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Matthew 11:28-30

Go ahead...take off your shoes...and enter His rest.

Jesse

Changes

I've been going to sleep at 6:00 p.m. and  waking up at 1:00 a.m.  I'm so tired by the end of the day that I can't stay awake long enough to get a full night's sleep.  Instead, I'm waking up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep.  Why?  My body is still trying to adjust to the change in time (16 hours time difference from Japan).  I feel tired during the day and wide awake at night.  I know my mind and body will eventually adjust to the change and I'll be able to function like a well oiled machine again.  The headache will go away and I'll be able to grasp the importance of the day.

Change in time can cause headaches.  Change in time can leave one feeling like they've lost their equilibrium.  Change in time can really mess up the way we view the day.  We all know how we feel when it's time to change the clock (daylight savings time).  We're grumpy when we spring forward and happy when we fall back.  Time impacts everyone...especially when the change is dramatic.

Life is full of changes.  Scripture even says there's a time for everything. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11:  "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: 

a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil?  I have seen the burden God has laid on man.  He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

The changes we're facing today with the passing of time may leave us feeling tired during the day and wide awake at night; but know that our mind, body, and spirit will eventually adjust to the changes as we surrender and entrust those changes to Jesus who is unchanging.  The headaches will go away and we'll be able to grasp the importance of the day once again.

Jesse

12:00 midnight

Jet lag

I’m back from my trip to Japan.  It was quite an experience.  I’ll probably be blogging about different events that occurred while I was in Toride over the next few weeks, but let’s start off with what is currently affecting me…jet lag.  Our flight to Norita, Japan took ten and a half hours.  We left from San Francisco at approximately 1:00 p.m. Thursday afternoon and landed at approximately  3:30 p.m Friday afternoon (we lost a day).  We had so much scheduled during the week that we didn’t really have any down time.  Every night I crashed once my head hit my pillow.  Coming home was a bit different.

The flight took only eight and a half hours (we were flying with the current).  We left Norita, Japan @ 6:00 p.m Thursday evening and arrived in San Francisco @ approximately 10:30 a.m Thursday morning (we gained a day).  We got to city hall at 3:45 in Yuba City.  I got home to my family (who greeted me with shouts, hugs, and tears (or maybe that was me:)) @ 4:00.  I fell asleep at 6:00 p.m (I’d been awake now for over 27 hours) and didn’t wake up until 7:30 the next morning (that would be a total of thirteen and a half hours of sleep!!!)  I’m still feeling the effects of the ride.

I feel a little sleepy, a bit tired, and thinking of all the memories I brought home with me from Japan.  At the same time, I’m thinking of all the things I need to catch up on and get ready for (work, church, family…walking Scar)

Yeah, the ride took a toll on me.  The RIDE always takes a toll on us.  That’s to be expected.  That’s life.  Often, once the ride is over and we come back to where we started, we can get overwhelmed with the “daily grind”.   Unless we view the “daily grind” as part of “the ride”.  “The ride” is just an extension of the “daily grind”.  You see, my trip to Japan wasn’t a “drop everything I’m doing and take a vacation to experience something new”.  My trip to Japan was a part of my journey of building relationships, experiencing God, and finding more to life!  The theme of my blog is : There Must Be More.  I found more on my trip.  I found a relationship with Jun, Kumiko, and Haruki Omuri (my host family).  I built relationships with countless other men and women that took part in this Sister City exchange (Japanese and American).  I became relationally relevant to the seventeen students I helped chaperon.  I experienced intimacy with God every morning as I started each day with Him.

Now, I’m tired, but what’s new?  That’s all part of “the ride”.  Some call it jet lag.  I call it living!

Jesse

Scar's Asleep

All I hear when Scar is asleep in the house are his deep exhales...as if he had worked hard all day long!!  He lays around all day in hopes of someone playing with him or taking him for a walk.  Most of his time is spent staring into the house through the sliding glass door.  (I know, it's pretty sad)

It makes me wonder though...could it be his waiting and hoping that wears him out?  Waiting to be part of the pack.  Hoping to experience family life. 

I was watching Animal Planet last night and learned that sometimes wolves get kicked out of the pack and have to fend for themselves the rest of their lives.  Rough life!  Loners.  They're used to hunting as a team...depending on each other for survival.  Lone wolves pretty much will take chances other wolves wouldn't because they have to feed themselves and protect themselves with no one to watch their back.

Their chances for survival aren't good without the pack. 

So, back to Scar.  He's a pack animal.  He needs to be part of a family.  He doesn't do well being alone.  He'll take chances he wouldn't take if he felt secure about his position in the pack (our family)--like jumping the fence.  We've had him now four and a half months and he still has his insecurities.  So I guess when he's allowed into the house he feels he is part of the pack and not on the "outs" with the family.  He is able to relax and take deep breaths and exhale with comfort.

People are very similar.  How many people do we keep on the "outs".  They stare into our sliding glass windows in hopes of experiencing community.  They wait and hope that someday they can be a part of the pack (the family).  They get so tired of waiting and hoping that they take chances a person who felt loved and part of the pack never would.  They feel like they're on their own and no one is watching their back.  Their chances for survival aren't good.

All they want is for someone to open the door, let them in, and treat them as part of the family.  Their survival is dependent on community.

Jesse

Izzy Bizzy

She follows me everywhere.  She always wants to be where I am.  Her heart beats to be near me.  We've always had that kind of relationship.  Often, it's she that makes the first move.  She pursues me.  If I want to take Scar for a walk, she's the first to ask if she can go.  I want to go jogging, she promises she could keep up with me.  If I lay down on the couch, she's the one that NEEDS to lay down with me.

Izzy Bizzy (or Biz for short) is what I call her.  Family knows her as Isabella or Izzy.  She has always wanted me to hold her.  Even now she asks me to hold her.  Maybe it's because she's my youngest.  Maybe it's because she's so tiny...that I make sure I hold her and I give her what she treasures most.   Or maybe it's something else...

Persistence.

She's pretty good at it.  She won't take no for an answer.  She'll even remind me the next day how I "didn't take her on the walk I said I would."  (she's only 4!) When I'm tired, she'll just hang around me until I make a move and she'll follow or ask where I'm going.  She just wants to be with Dad and it makes me feel good that we have that relationship.  I remind myself (especially when I'm tired and I don't FEEL like giving of myself) that she may not always pursue me like she does now and I better give her every reason to never stop pursuing.  How?  I give her what she wants...to simply be with me.

She doesn't want me to buy her anything or really give her anything except my time and myself.  For some reason she really likes that...spending time with me...her dad...Jesse.   

Do you think God desires the same thing from us?

Do you think He desires that we pursue Him like Izzy pursues me?

Do you think it makes Him feel good when all we want to do is simply be with Him?

Before one gives their life to Jesus, it is His Holy Spirit that DRAWS him.  John 6:44- "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him."  But what about after we give our life to God?   

James 4:8-"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."  Sounds like an invitation to me.  He's already drawn us to himself and now He gives us the opportunity to pursue and develop intimacy in the relationship. Sounds like He's now wanting us to make "the next move".  Sounds like Izzy and me.  As she draws close to me I can't help but draw close to her.  As she pursues after me, I take thought of her persistence, grow compassionate towards her heart's desire to simply spend time with me, and have a longing to not miss the opportunity to build a relationship that will last a lifetime.

You think God is wanting us to make the next move?  Do you think God is waiting for us to make the next move?  An important question to answer is: Do we have the same persistence as Bizzy?  For surely we have the same need...to simply be with Him!

Jesse 

Holes in My Jeans

I was sitting down about to start blogging.  Kelly was asking my opinion on her outfit.  She was specifically asking about her blouse.  She asked me how it looked about four times before she sat down and suddenly shrieked, "Oh no!!  I've got holes in my jeans!"

How often do we do that?  We get so focused on one area of our lives and totally miss the area that's got holes in it.  We get so focused on one area of the body we want to look good that we totally miss the area that's falling apart...the area with holes in it.

Kelly got bummed and decided to change her blouse, but not her pants because they were the only clean ones she had.  So even though the pants were the ones with holes in it, she decided to change her blouse!!  That seems crazy, but it made her feel better for some reason or she was willing to overlook the holes.  Such is life.  When we see holes in our lives that we suddenly become aware of we choose to deal with them indirectly.  Actually, we don't deal with them at all.  We choose to change something else in our lives that will make us feel better but that never really needed changing.  It makes us feel better because we feel like we took action in dealing with "some part" of our life.  Even though it had nothing to do with the holes in our soul.

We miss the real issues and make issues of non-issues (those things that aren't real).

Jesse

Exercising Prayer

My children pray for me everyday.  I never knew it until one day last year my truck broke down and Kelly had to give me a ride to work.  On the way, she had all three of our kids take turns praying for the school day (a common practice as I soon found out).  Everyone of them prayed similar prayers.  They went something like this:  "Jesus thank you for this day and we pray we have a good day and that Daddy will have a good day at work and his kids will listen to him and that mommy will have a great day and that Thanael will have a good day and that Izzy will have a good day and that...." (well, you get the picture).  Their prayers have changed and even matured since that day (especially for Izzy).  Izzy likes to pray that I come home with a smile.  How do I know this?  Because the kids like to pray over our dinner and I get to hear what they've got to say.  They really like praying for Dad.  Why?  Well, I think Kelly has something to do with it.  I think she's modeled prayer for our kids every morning on their way to school and they've picked up on it.  We also pray for them before they go to bed.  They see me pray every morning and they've heard me pray over them when they're sick.  The point is they wouldn't know how to pray if it weren't modeled for them.  They wouldn't mature in their prayers if they weren't given opportunities to exercise their prayer life.

Same thing goes with the church body.  Unless prayer is modeled and people are given opportunities to exercise their prayers, there is no reason to expect noticeable growth or maturity.  Also, if all we do is model and give no opportunities to exercise prayer, we are stunting their growth and breeding dependant fans. 

What I mean is the body becomes dependant on the pastor or teacher when it comes to prayer.  The body should learn to come together in prayer not throw all their requests and petitions on the shoulders of the few without joining in the exercise.

Jesse