I had snack shack duty today for Natasha's Softball team. I was serving snacks for two and a half hours. Good times...then I came home. I noticed my dog was in my house. I was a little surprised since we don't usually let him in the house anymore, and I'm the one that usually let's him in. Well, as always, there was a story behind it.
Turns out my back door neighbor decided to express himself again. Scar was tangled amongst the patio chairs (we have him tied up now since he jumps the fence) and was whimpering and barking. Kelly sent Nathanael (my son) out to check on him and heard someone yelling. When she went out to see what was going on, she found our back door neighbor looking over our fence and yelling at Thanael. Kelly told Thanael to go inside and untangled Scar and brought him inside as well.
When Kelly told me that he was yelling at my son something inside my gut started to turn. I felt the need to express myself to my neighbor. I felt a need to protect my son and ultimately my family. I was pretty ticked. I asked the kids what happened and all they new was that the man was yelling over the fence. I knew then I needed to do something. It's one thing for an adult to yell at another adult (he yelled at my wife a little over a week ago--I blogged about it), but it's a whole other thing when a senior citizen is screaming at a kid. I walked to the door and told Kelly and the kids I'd be right back. Everyone seemed a bit anxious. I know I was.
As I walked around the block to my neighbors house, I prayed, "Lord help me to speak to this man." I asked for His guidance. I recognized that I was anxious and that's not the way I wanted to enter into conversation. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."-Philipians 4:6. I knew I didn't want to attack this man but humble myelf before God and allow Him to work in the situation.
I rung the door bell. His indoor dog started barking. Moments passed and finally the door opened.
"Hi, Carl. I hear my dog has distrupted you again." He looked nervous and a bit anxious.
"Yeah,...he's been barking out there," he replied with uneasiness.
"Well, I came over to apologize. I wanted to let you know that we don't want any riffs between us. We care about our neighbors and we don't want to lose our relationship." His wife came to the door with a warm smile and a kind hello. I greeted her back.
I let him know the situation with Kelly's surgery and asked for his understanding. I assured him we were working with Scar and asked that he would trust us that we weren't angry with him and we really wanted to protect our relationship as neighbors. (He had made a comment to Kelly when he was yelling along the lines of, "Okay you want a war!")
"Also, yelling over my fence at my kids trips them out, so if you please wouldn't do that," I said.
After making excuses for his "talking" over the fence, I continued, "Well, I just wanted you to know that we care about you guys, and if you have any more problems or concerns please feel free to talk to me. You can come over any time." I shook his hand again and we said goodbye.
I thanked God for his presence. I thanked God for his words. I thanked God for the change He's made in me. I thanked God for the opportunity to allow His light to shine in me at that moment. I desired to protect my son, my wife, my family because I'm a dad, I'm a husband,...I'm a man; but that kind of reasoning is carnal. That kind of reasoning is really more about "me" or what others would think of me if I sat by and did nothing.
You see, I understand I have an obligation and a responsibility to watch out for and protect my family and I'm not afraid to "get in the middle of it" if it comes to "getting jiggy wid it", but having the mind of Christ forces us to consider love and wisdom: Philipians 4:5-"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near."
"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up."-Proverbs 12:25
Galatians 6:1-"Brothers if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted."
As I went to go set my neighbor straight, I realized the temptation to treat him the way he treated my family. I realized, I could easily justify my actions to my neighborhood (should anyone ask). Yet, Paul exhorts us and warns us at the same time: "you who are spiritual (mature) should restore gently, but watch yourself, or you [may end up falling into the same sin (acting hateful toward your neighbor)]. We are to restore with gentleness knowing God is near!
Now I know every situation is different, but submitting self to Christ must always come first whenever God brings us the opportunity to love those that are so easy to hate.
I came home in peace. No anxiety whatsoever. I've reached out to my neighbor and offered gentleness instead of wrath. What my neighbor chooses to do now is up to him, but I'm more concerned with what God does in this saga not what man does. If I could bring a smile to God's face...well, that's what makes this new life so wonderful!
Jesse
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